George Michael In The Park (to the tune of Saturday in the Park by Chicago)

George Michael in the park
I think he was unzipping my fly
George Michael in the park
I think he was unzipping my fly
People crusing for penis poking
A mouth full of man cream
Humming some old Wham! songs
[sung with mouth full] take me to the Edge of Heaven
Can he suck it (yes, he can)
And I’ll be coming such a long time
Fellatio

George Michael in the park
sucking off this unemployed guy
George Michael in the park
It’s dripping down the length of his thigh
Careless whispers, Father Figure
A monkey plays the guitar
Sing it for us all
Will you do the jitterbug
Can wake him (yes, I can)
Before you go-go such a long time
for some ass play

Not everybody does it, but everybody may
A Greek man still can have sex in the park today
Andrew Ridgley, all is not lost
All is not lost

George Michael in the park
I know he was unzipping my fly
George Michael in the park
my penis poked him right in the eye
George is reaching, George is touching
A real masterbation
Waiting for us all
If we want it, really want it
Can you dig it (yes, I can)
Police ‘been watching such a long time
to take him away

Here is the link to the Aeros Hockey Ticket information.

Because Facebook won’t let you zoom in on these photos, I have decided to post the full-res scans here.

Klein Oak Class of 1992
Strack Intermediate Class of 1988

The following ten links point to answering machine messages left by someone on my answering machine at one time.

Try to guess who left message from the list below.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Clues:
All messages were left between 1990-1996.
No one person left more than one of the above messages.
All messages were left by someone who has attended at least one Festivus.

Possible candidates:
Laura Veale
Henry Britt
Jinny Patterson McCormick
Becky Vincent Smith
Lara Abrahms Gwinn
Sean Loyless
Alicia Vilbaum Fiedler
Jessica Cabiness Brady
Bethany Hedges Moore
Bryan Pope
Dean McCormick
Staci Heien
Tami Nelson
Raymond Ng
Scott Bishop
David Hobizal
Travis Breaux
Scott McCormick
Leslie Meredith Eames
Carolyn Abbruscato Smith
Meredith Braden Watmough
Sean McCormick
Rick Nelson
Andrew Hannan
Kourt DeHaas
Brian Smith

If you are unable to attend Festivus in person, we are streaming a live web feed from this year’s party– from both McCormick Manor and from San Antonio!

McCormick Manor web feed:
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/red-cedar-place—-festivus-2008
San Antonio web feed:
http://www.dailyhaggis.com/festivus

If you want to join in on the party, you can also join the Skype conference– just add “VirtualFestivus” as a Skype contact and be ready at 8:00pm on the 19th!

Additionally, if you have a webcam, add “GrievanceCam” as a Skype contact and you can air your grievances with the rest of us!

And just remember– for every grievance aired over webcam, a donation will be made to “The Human Fund.”

Thanks, and hope to see you there, one way or another!

Are refractory periods required in between sarcasms?

Here are somethings I still need to “flesh out” that have been written down on various notepads for so long, I figured, hell, it’s time just to put it up here and let the blogosphere sort it out.

So here it is:

1) Red Cedar Place Episode Titles:

The Greatest American Zero
Jumping the Snark
Absolut Madness
Mecha-Lecha-Hi-Make-A-Brian-Heien-E-Go
…Rupturing
Get Down With The Thickness
Pachouli Nutrageous
Under The Music
Regional Freak Magnet
I Am Not A Pepper
Essenes and Ninjesuits

2) Unfortunate Name: Ponch from Chips

3) Really, why is there Braille on the ATM Drive-Thru?

4) Links I might want to put up here: Slashdot, Neurotically Yours

5) John Denver – Colorado or West Virginia?

Jinny votes CO, since he’s “Rocky Mountain High,” and his last name, of course, is the capital. Plus, he might have broken up with his WV “Mountain Mama.”

6) Hot spots –

Las Vegas
Times Square
French Quarter
Moxie’s Back

7) Random Quote: “Scabs on the bloody wounds of society”

8) When Heart sings “Barracuda” are they only two-chambered?

9) Overheard:

Jinny: “You see a butt-”
Garrett: “Yeah! Yeah…”
Sean: “You know Garrett, they poop out of those.”
Garrett: “Uh hunh…”
Garrett looks wistfully at the girl’s butt again.

10) My father – the man who never took his family on a multiday trip for 15 years, is now the CHAIRMAN of the Trip Coordination board for the Over-50 Club.

The following are notes of community interest:

1) www.diantological.com has been moved to diantological.dianto.org.
2) www.lemonjinny.com has moved to lemonjinny.dianto.org.
3) Jinny’s books will soon be available for view on the main page, under the link marked “Books.”