The following ten links point to answering machine messages left by someone on my answering machine at one time.

Try to guess who left message from the list below.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Clues:
All messages were left between 1990-1996.
No one person left more than one of the above messages.
All messages were left by someone who has attended at least one Festivus.

Possible candidates:
Laura Veale
Henry Britt
Jinny Patterson McCormick
Becky Vincent Smith
Lara Abrahms Gwinn
Sean Loyless
Alicia Vilbaum Fiedler
Jessica Cabiness Brady
Bethany Hedges Moore
Bryan Pope
Dean McCormick
Staci Heien
Tami Nelson
Raymond Ng
Scott Bishop
David Hobizal
Travis Breaux
Scott McCormick
Leslie Meredith Eames
Carolyn Abbruscato Smith
Meredith Braden Watmough
Sean McCormick
Rick Nelson
Andrew Hannan
Kourt DeHaas
Brian Smith

Today we have more audio clips from my answering machine.

First, we have one of the few outgoing messages that I have. Unfortunately, these seemed to be erased every time I created a new one, so I have very, very few of them. But this one is a duet of sorts, with me sounding vaguely Ren Hoek-ish at times, and Travis assisting.

Then we have Kirstin, frustrated with me in general and worried about the sanctity of my sister.

Lastly, we have Corey, Little Caesar’s, and his waterbed.

Hey kids, remember when there was no Internet? Cell phones were rare and expensive? Gas was $1.00?
Of course not, you kids were in utero back then. Hell, some of you weren’t even born when that Nirvana album came out. (September 21, 1993).

For those of you that remember these times, and knew me back in those days, the following audio links should prove to be interesting. Or, at the very least, embarrassing.

First off, we have here a classic from Alicia “Jackie” Vilbaum, most likely from ‘93. I got this a lot from Alicia.

Next we have Jinny in Spring of 1992. It would be another seven years before we would even start dating. But it doesn’t sound like it from this clip, does it? My favorite part is that if you listen closely, you can hear the Grease soundtrack playing in the background.

Lastly we have Travis pretending to be people looking for crack. 1992 for sure.

There are plenty of messages that are even more amusing– a complete recording of “Sean & Kirstin” performed for my answering machine by Scottie Garrison, Jinny pretending that she’s being abducted from the Randall’s parking lot, Travis proclaiming his divinity, Tami performing executive secretary duties by scheduling me reservations for a date I’m going on with someone else, and even Rick Nelson calling to borrow shoplift acquire CDs.

I will put a few up here and there as I have time.

I can only guess that this mural is from early summer of 1990. It involves Staci as a mouse, Sean as a crow, Kirstin as an evil beast, and contains a guest appearance from Andrea, who seems to be much more interested in the Monkees that anything else. Go figure.

This, so far as I am aware, is the last of the big murals. There is one more, though– a mural drawn on fan-fold computer paper. As soon as I work out the details of scanning that one, I’ll put it up here.

I’m not really sure what to say– another found mural. So far as I know, this one is the first one. Because it is in such disrepair, I have reproduced the credits below.

The “New” Craig and Sean Mural!

With:

Sean MC as The Captain, and Gene Shalit, too
Craig as The Mind Tripper Robert Smith
Andrea as The Bitch with the Dick in her Side Mouth
Psycho-Bunny as Lassie
Alvin The Chipmunk as Matt E.
Tiffany as The Vampire Go-Go Dancer
-and-
Kourt as Dumbo, the Boy Who Could Fly
-not to mention-
Vicar (so we won’t)

This is fairly large (9MB) PDF file, but I thought I should let you all see this gem… a mural Gerry, Craig and I did back in December of 1989 (so the date says). I had it in a tube for several years, and then back in my framing frenzy, I dry-mounted this and a couple other of the murals and framed them (sans glass). The plan was to ship them all to Craig, but I never did get around to that. So they sat in my Dad’s garage in a box for, oh, twelve years.

When he made me get rid of all of my stuff still in his garage, I looked at them and noticed how bad some of them had deteriorated, and decided I had to do something. So I un-drymounted them (not an easy feat) and took them into work and used the industrial scanner on them.

I particularly love “Rudolph El Reno Psichotico” as well as the Smiths and Morrissey lyric references.

Did I mention I gave at least two girls mono in high school?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 20% Pure

For you, it’s all kiss and no talk. You’re in a permanent lip lock.

August 1 -”In the mid sixties, the Beattles [sic] journeyed to India to sit at the feet of Indian gurus. Sometime later George Harrison wrote the song ‘My Sweet Lord.’ This sing glorified a demon-possessed spiritualist Indian guru with Satan as his master. From that moment on, rock music took a turn downward. What had previously been bad became literally dominated by Satan. Modern music started with the plunge into hell itself.”-Jimmy Swaggart

August 2-”It’s been so long since I made love I can’t remember who gets tied up.”-Joan Rivers

August 3 -”To hell with the natives!”-John Wayne on the Indians

August 4 -”People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.”-Jerry Lewis

August 5 -”I never understand how two men can write a book together, to me that is like three people getting together to have a baby.”-Evelyn Waugh

August 8 -”I was in love once, but they gave me a shot and it went away.”-Rosie O’Donnell

August 9 -”The only thing I liked in America was Peter Paul Mounds.”-Charlie Chaplin

August 10-”Look, ask me what paper came to my desk last week and I couldn’t tell you.”-Ronald Reagan

August 11-”I’ll go anywhere I want to go, anytime I want to go. I had a great time. They had a great golf course.”-Frank Sinatra on Sun City, South Africa

August 12-”What, when drunk, one sees in other women, one sees in Garbo sober.”-Kenneth Tylan

August 15-”We are like McDonald’s; we have a wonderful product. Our Egg McMuffin is called Ronald Reagan.”-Newt Gingrich

August 16-”Ours was the generation that stayed up all night. Indeed, we spent so little time in bed most of us only had one child.”-James Thurber

August 17-”You don’t tell us how to stage the news, and we won’t tell you how to report it.”-Larry Speakes

August 18-”It’s glitz and glitter, but good glitz and glitter.”-David Wolper on the Statue of Liberty extravaganza

August 19-”We’ve done the bugger!”-Sherpa Tensing on climbing Everest

August 20-”[Black children are] probably the best nourished group in the United States.”-Member of Reagan task force on hunger

August 21-”Reagan rarely does his homework…it’s a shame this man is president.”-Tip O’Neill

August 22-”That image of driving along with the top down, and the palm trees whizzing over your head, and some bimbo beside you, that’s why I came out here.”Connecticut builder, explaining his move to Malibu

August 23-”A solar panel on a sex machine.”-Alan Simpson describing his bald head

August 24-”Get out there and kick some ass. God be with you.”-Sister Mary Martin to Boston Red Sox right-hander Bob Stanley

August 29-”Hey, the last three times you’ve asked, I’ve said yes. What else do you want?”-Andrea Miller to Sean McCormick

August 30-If Botticelli were alive today he’d be working for vogue.”-Peter Ustinov

August 31-”Far too noisy, my dear Mozart, far too many notes.”-Emperor Ferdinand of Austria on The Marriage of Figaro
September

This is from someone we all know and love…

Of Mice and Men

The two characters I chose for my movement study in Of Mice and Men were Lennie and George. We’ll start with Lennie. I saw the actors’ movement choices as very confused. By that I mean he made it seem as if Lennie did not know what to do next. Very clumsy, loose, and an almost stop-motion animated movement choices related the character wonderfully, in my opinion. I Went with animal images to look for in the performance. I saw in Lennie a cow. Big, dumb, clumsy, and complacent, he very much reminded me of that animal. Another thing I noticed about the actors’ movement choices was that when Lennie was proud, he was very erect, but when was ashamed or scared, he slumped quite a bit. This brought the performance a very real quality.

George, on the other hand, was very, well, quick. His movement choices were very direct. In addition, when George was tense, he moved very little, and when he did he moved stiffly. When relaxed his movements were almost languid. When he became angry, his movement shouted, and flailing fist-pounding abounded. I thought that these varied movements indeed helped make George more real to the audience. I saw, in George, a cat, the reasons ones I named above.

In my opinion, both of these actor’s movement choices helped their performances. I’ve seen Of Mice and Men done three different times, and this was by far the best interpretation I’ve seen done. I think a lot of that hinged on their movement. After all, if it doesn’t move like a real person, it can’t be a real person, right?

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ICQ Chat Save file
Started on Mon Nov 03 20:54:15 1997

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hi
hello.
so, any new email?
i don’t know i haven’t checked
well, why don’t you check…
why aren’t you at coffee
because I’ve been sitting here since I got off the phone with you answering email from work.
cause i want to talk to you do you need to finish your email reading instead
no, I’m done, I was just about to get off.
to complicated for a begginer
You can check your email and chat eith me at the same time…
of, well, okay. so what’s up?
nothing honey
ha
I tell you what< how about if I check your mail while we talk???
:P
ha ha ha
my estrogen would kick your testosterone’s ass
but seroiusly folks, what cha doing on the computer?
i was going to find out when that band plays again
yeah, if you estrogen would ever see me,then maybe it would get a chance to kick my ass.
i am sorry i feel dumped
what are you talking about?
its an expression the same as down in the dumps
well, if you are depressed, then why don’t you want me to come over?
dumps bring other people down with them
i have to many things to do and no desire to acomplish them
unhuh. sounds hokey to me… Okay, maybe not hokey, but i think you should elaborate… I mean you almost never tell me how you feel, are you aware of that?
no i thought i did
no, I asked you several times to explain and you never really idicated to me that you were depressed. Why? do you know?
i don’t know if it is deppression its just a horrible case of no motivation which i assume could be classified as down in the dumps
you, my dear, have no motivation for precisely the same reason why I get edgy when doing new things…
what reason is that

You are at your last semester at community college
you still don’t really have an idea what you want to be when you “grow up”
you do’t know how next semester is going to work out.
you’ll have to get a new job.
you’ll have to make some new friends.

yup you figured me out
I know exactly how you feel. But I won’t let you feel that way.
And you know what? I’m not going to “put Up” with you feeling that way because life is too short, and you are too good of a person.
Besides, i love you.

So here is what WE are going to do.
WE are getting an apartment.
WE are moving out.
WE are going to get you into school.
WE are going to live happily ever after.
There. feel better?
okay thanks i really needed that
really?
yup
CAn I ask a question?
does it require brain power
no, just honesty.
okay
if you knew that was the problem, then why didn’t you tell me that? did you expect me to think you were dumb or something? I fely you do now, I have had those feelings… I tried to kill myself before because of the general feeling of hopelessness and insecurity. Why wouldn’t you tell me something like that?
i generally don’t like to dump my problems on someone else
Dump is not the word to use. You don’t DUMP problems on me. you can’t. I told you before…
I’m in a good mood and you, my dear, are going to have to wait your turn if you think you’ll depress me. :)

sometimes when i would tell my problems i would begin to feel insecure around that person
you are the all knower :)
All I know is this: if you don’t fess up on things that are bugging you, and things that you don’t feel confident it persuing alone, then how am I supposed to help you? I want you to be yourself around me. you know you already have me whipped, what are you going to lose by telling me how you feel?
okay

I knew it as soon as you told me you wanted to hand deliver the paperwork.
You think we are different, but I tell you, we are not. I tried stunts like that… Trust me, I’ll help you don anything that you want to do. the only thing I want in return is a smile and appreciation… but there is one thing that I will absolutely, positively not take the lead on…
aren’t you going to ask what?

what

do wedding planning.
what?

THat’s right. You can get me to cook, clean, buy and fix your cars, repair roofs, but I won’t do wedding planning.
so i can do it all by myself
well, I’ll help, but I won’t take any lead onb that whatsoever.
have you been talking to *****

no, but i hear all the stpuid crap that they do, and frankly, I’m not impressed.
what stupid crap
well, all that bridesmaid dress shopping for one.
did ***** drag him along
going to a wedding extravaganza..

yes
sometimes i feel a little more independant than *****

and sometimes i feel a little less whipped than *****
when it comes to weddings
but we are getting a way from a crucial point…
(I won’t)

this means you can’t complain about my choices
do you want to go to sam in the spring?
yes
do you want me to live there?
yes
do you want me to help you achieve these goals?
yes what happened you were bound and determined a while back

I’m just asking to make sure you want this… the last thing in the worls that I want to do is to force someithnig on you that you aren’t ready to deal with.
no i know i can deal i just can deal better with a bound and determined partner:)

well, I’m bound and determined. But– you, my dear, must sill make the choices. I will help you pursue anything you want. And, so, for starters, we are getting that stupid application out there pronto.

you need to get it in quickly because otherwiese you are going to have problems finding a job, and all that other good stuff, are you getting your dad to take you up there on thursday or what?
yup come hell or high water

well, if the high water hits, I may have to go back to work friday, and I’ll get someone to drop it off.
thanks will you be gone friday night
not if I can help it. What are you doing friday?
okay nuting honey
no, are you working?
yes 2-8
well, that precludes the concept of you coming with me…
okay. look, I don’t know what the story is, moring glory, but I will tell you this:

I’m a bad man (like B-AAA-D) and no one understands him but his–

okay, never mind. look, here’s the scoop. you have 3 weeks to get your app in or I will go up there and get an apartment on my own :P

thankyou for your support
okay
I’m joking. Anyway, once you get accepted, then we can look at aprtments. Depending on the arrangement, I may just pay the whole damn rent myself. (hey not bad, huhnh?)
i never said you were bad your just butter

i have to go and study now
tehe.
talking to you made me feel better:)
well, I’m still telephoning you later, because I have no idea how many tears you have shed or laughs or any of that other kinda stuff. But I’m getting some food, and going to get some coffee.
And you didn’t want me to come over.. unhunh. well, missy, I’m here for you and I hope you feel better.
i do
want me to come ovwer?
love you
you can come over wed and help me clean my room
we can orgonize together
that’s better. I mean, I live for cleanin’ rooms ;)

i know well bye love you
ilove you
call you later.
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