Jinnyosity tells us that the Krackpype will come, but how will we know if she is the one true Krackpype? Here are a few of the prophecies from the Book of Jinnyosity:

She will be able to find four leaf clovers with ease, and she will like “Kids in The Hall” — Jinnysis 3:15

“And fields will put between you and the woman, and while walking toward you, she will find Trifolium repens with leaves of four; upon which time, she will be “crushing your head”, and you will take to your heels.”

This prophecy is a prediction of the Krackpype’s ability to find four leaf clovers. It also shows that she will have an interest in Canadian sketch comedy.

She will leave Texas and be a marked with a special, hidden tooth. — Jinnysis 12:1-2

“And the Lord God spoke, ‘You will soon leave your state, your people and your paternal grandfather and go to the land I will show you. I will give you a tooth hidden under your tongue that will bless you with the power to frighten your husband.’”

This passage begins to trace the move to Kentucky that will begin in Exit-us. It shows that God would place in Jinny’s mouth a special tooth hidden underneath her tongue that would gross her husband out for the rest of his days.

She will carry a spray bottle because she doesn’t not sweat enough to cool herself down sufficiently — Jinnysis 49:10

“The spray bottle will not depart from Jinny, for the sweat glands of the Krackpype will not work of sufficient strength to cool.”

Toward the end of Jinnysis, the Krackpype is clearly identified by her inability to perspire properly.

She will be born with a misunderstanding ear. — Josh 7:14

“But lo, the Krackpype will be vexed to hear spoken words as to mislead, and sounds shall be rearranged to offend; this will give birth to many a confusion.”

This section, which should be carefully studied in context, is a direct prophecy of “Tourette’s of the Ear.”

She will be born in with the need to keep her toes uncovered at night — Formica 5:2

“Though the toes are but a small part of your being, off of them must come all blankets and covers; whose presence warm the body and keep the extremities from the light of morning.”

The Krackpype must have her feet and toes uncovered at night, lest they get “claustrophobic.”