Today’s Life Lesson is about women who mainly drink beer as their alcohol of choice.

4Realvelation 2:20 Notwithstanding I have many things against thee, because thou sufferest these beer-drinking women, which calleth themselves “Princess,” who seduce my friends to commit fornication, because their hips are oriented so as to squat in the woods to urinate and to be easily accessible to male members.”

What does this verse teach us?

1) Women who drink a lot of beer have backward-tilting hips. This makes their rear-ends stick out.
2) Beer-drinking girls are willing to crouch in the forest to pee.
3) Beer-drinking girls do not have to angle their pelvis for sexual congress; in other words, “They can just sit on your dick.”
4) Jinnyosity teaches us to be kind but distant to these sorts of women.