Because of recent events in the Louisiana-Mississippi-Alabama Gulf Coast area, the release of Diantological II: The Wrath of Sean has been postponed. We at Dianto feel that the subject of the track “New Orleans” (to the tune of “Who Are You?” by The Who) is not, at this time, a proper subject for parody. It has not yet been determined if Diantological II will instead be released without this track. The current track list includes:

Again Comes Sin (Sans Stitch)
Theme from Dean
Cinnamon Roll
You’re So Late
Motel Hazy Hollow
We’re Just Some Swingers
Baby Fish Mouth is Sweeping the Nation (Bad Pictionary Guesses)
George Michael in the Park
New Orleans
The Love Skat
The Compound W Operetta
……Compound W Theme
……China Doll
……Nairway to Heaven
……Diantological Song
……Compound W Rhapsody
Legs Spread

A selection from the upcoming album, Diantological II: The Wrath of Sean

“George Michael in the Park” [to the tune of "Saturday in the Park" by Chicago]

George Michael in the park
I think he was unzipping my fly
George Michael in the park
I think he was unzipping my fly
People crusing for penis poking
A mouth full of man cream
Humming some old Wham! songs
[mouth full] take me to the Edge of Heaven
Can he suck it (yes, he can)
And I’ll be coming such a long time
Fellatio

George Michael in the park
sucking off this unemployed guy
George Michael in the park
It’s dripping down the length of his thigh
Careless whispers, Father Figure
A monkey plays the guitar
Sing it for us all
Will you do the jitterbug
Can wake him (yes, I can)
Before you go-go such a long time
for some ass play

Not everybody does it, but everybody may
A Greek man still can have sex in the park today
Andrew Ridgley, all is not lost
All is not lost

George Michael in the park
I know he was unzipping my fly
George Michael in the park
my penis poked him right in the eye
George is reaching, George is touching
A real masterbation
Waiting for us all
If we want it, really want it
Can you dig it (yes, I can)
Police ‘been watching such a long time
to take him away

-McCormick/Britt/McCormick

(c)2005. All Rights Reserved.

Sorry, but I changed the rules on this meme. You can see all of the 100 Greatest Hits of 1992 here.. I however, am going to give you a much shorter list… Just the music I could stand out of this top 100.

If I actually liked them, they are bold. If I tolerated the song, it’s listed. Otherwise, I deleted the entry. I don’t even want the name of those bad artists on my site. And trust me, there are a lot.

Which just goes to show: there was a lot of crap on the radio then, and a lot on the radio now.

2. Baby Got Back, Sir Mix A-lot
7. My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It), En Vogue
8. Under The Bridge, Red Hot Chili Peppers
13. I’m Too Sexy, Right Said Fred
14. Black Or White, Michael Jackson
17. November Rain, Guns N’ Roses
24. Jump Around, House Of Pain
32. Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana
38. Move This, Technotronic
39. Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen
40. Tennessee, Arrested Development
44. Set Adrift On Memory Bliss, P.M. Dawn
55. I Can’t Dance, Genesis
57. Mysterious Ways, U2
58. Too Funky, George Michael
60. One, U2
71. Friday I’m In Love, Cure
86. Justified and Ancient, The KLF
93. Free Your Mind, En Vogue

“There are no such thing as runes– it’s just a case of bad penmanship.”

And the list continues…

Devo
Jam Shorts
Hardcastle & McCormick
Two Pesos
“The Reflex” by Duran Duran
The Breeders
Ernest Borgnine
Snidley Whiplash
Penelope Pitstop
The Great Space Coaster
Gary Gnu
Hong Kong Phooey Oh, wait, he knew that one.
New Order
The Pixies
Jojo’s !!!
Linda Evans
Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme
Patty Hurst
On Golden Pond
Baby Jessica
Berlin
Sea-Arama Marineworld (in case you don’t remember it either…)
Galaxy High
The Young Ones

While discussing the fact that Birkenstocks are out of style at Denny’s a while back, we found, much to our chagrin, that young people today don’t even know what the hell Birkenstocks are! This freaked us out, so we decided to start asking our server about other pop culture references…

Garrett was born in 1984. That makes him 21. The following is a list of things he had never heard of, or was completely confused about:

Kristy McNichol
Booberry
Jm J. Bullock
Too Close For Comfort
Eight is Enough
Tic Tac Dough
“Bette Davis Eyes” (though he did know Bette Davis, strangely enough)
Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman
Carole Lombard
The Bionic Woman
Linda Carter
Moonlighting
New Coke
Tina Yothers
Aqua Net (he’s a guy, so we’ll cut him slack for that one)
Pinch Rolling
Tammy Fae
SCTV
Mary Gross
V
The Equalizer
Coleco
Debbie Gibson (though he did know Tiffany… go figure)
Jesus Jones
EMF
Nitzer Ebb
Lisa Bonet
Divine
Donna Summer
Jim Bakker
Gennifer Flowers
Donna Rice
Jessica Hahn
Ollie North
Christa McAuliffe
Birkenstocks

While I agree that some of these are less than memorable, and in fact, some of these are better off forgotten (for example, Jm J. Bullock or Jesus Jones), it still pains me that today’s youth does not know of Donna Summer or Eight is Enough… How do today’s youth get the jokes in Family Guy or Gilmore Girls if they don’t know their pop culture? Sigh.

Don’t believe me? I heard about it on NPR Talk (on Sirius) and then read it here.

Do I agree with him? Well, yes, in a very Machiavellian way. But it’s not very Christian, Pat. And you are a big, loud-mouthed, Protestant Christian. Why do so many Christians turn the cross into a sword? And blowing off the head of a petty dictator just because he doesn’t agree with the US is kind of against the law. But then again, so is all war (according to the Kellogg-Briand Pact).

If we had taken out the leader of:

Russia in the 20’s,
Germany and Japan and Italy in the 30’s,
China in the late 40’s,
North Korea in the 50’s,
Cuba and the Congo in the 60’s (hell, we assassinated everyone else in that decade),
Cambodia in the 70’s,
Libya in 80’s (well, we tried),
Iraq in the 90’s…
and the United States in the 2000’s,

this whole world would be better off.

But it’s not very Christian, Pat. Christianity is all about suffering and redemption and giving unto Caesar what is Caesar’s…

Jesus is not Rambo. Which is, frankly, a shame, but automatic weapons were not around in the time of the Pax Romana.

Such is the way of a rebellious child; they purchaseth for expensive sums clothes of poor quality, and weareth horn-rimmed spectacles, and saith, I know not of Declan of the House of McManus, yet I have done no wickedness. For three things the Earth is disquieted, and for four which it cannot bear: For an offspring to rebel at what his parents rebelled; and a fool when he is wearing pricey clothes that look of a thrift store; For an odious woman who driveth a manual transmission and hath decor hung from the inside mirror; and a child that looks as those that offer for sale the juice of grapes or the crafts of the loom–these children are of the Eternal Darkness. –4Realvelation (Ch 6:4-10)

We can learn from this passage that:

1) Jinny hates rebels without a new cause. Don’t rebel against what your parents rebelled against.
2) Don’t think you’re cool wearing Elvis Costello’s glasses if you don’t even know who he is.
3) Don’t pay $70 dollars for some cheap-ass safety-pinned clothing that Sid Vicious paid a shilling for.
4) Girls who drive a stick and have ‘crap’ hanging from their rear-view mirrors are to be avoided.
5) The “Welch’s Juice Girl” and the “Loomcraft Boy” are inherently evil. Even children that look like them are bad. Keep away.

Stolen from BDogg McGee, who invites you to try her latest offering…

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Somewhere deep in Western North Carolina, or Chippewa, Ontario.

2. FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
Um, I’m a guy. If it’s clean, it’s fine.

3. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
How about 50 Imation blanks?

4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
7:26am

5. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
my wife– har, har, funny funny. Seriously, though, our new French Press. “Frankly” it’s fun to squish the baret-wearing goobers.

6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Theramin

7. FAVORITE COLOR?
Aquamarine (like the jewel, not like the crayon)

8. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV?
Sports car

9. FAVORITE CHILDREN’S BOOK?
“Uncle Shelby’s ABZ book: A Primer for Tender Young Minds” or “My First Book of Matches”

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
in Houston, Fall. In the rest of the US: Spring.

11. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I would urinate gasoline (92 octane, with Techron).

12. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
Nope

13. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Only in my mind. Whoops!

14. NAME ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD TALK TO.
To say my mom is too easy, so I’ll say my paternal grandmother.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
When I’m not working (when is that?) my Favorite Day is Friday. When I’m working, my favorite day is Saturday.

16. WHAT’S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?
I don’t have a trunk. I drive a truck. And nothing, right now.

17. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
Hamburger

18. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DESSERT?
Give me a good strawberry shake, thank you. Keep that chocolate crap far away.

19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL?
A good steak, mmmm. Ribeye?