My whole life, all 31 years of it… everytime I have ever gone out on a date, just the two of us, I have always sat ACROSS from the person I was seeing. Always. But for years I have occasionally noticed these people that sit NEXT to each other, even when they are the only two people at the table.

Back in the day I thought they were just waiting for people to show up, who would sit on the other side. But by now, I’m pretty sure that is not the case.

What I want to know is: Why in the heck would you want to sit NEXT to your date when you could sit ACROSS from them and actually see and socially interact with them?

What bothers me about this scenario is that if I am at a booth, and they are both facing me, I have to see them (since there is no one on the other side of their table). If they get all “schmoopie” and start slurping on each other’s faces, I have nothing to block my view.

Now most of you are saying, “Well, I think you answered your own question…” But there have been many other times when there was no schmoopieness (yes, I’m just making up words now) going on at all. Maybe it’s easier to share a banana split this way or something? Even if you people are secretly trying to get into each other’s pants underneath the table, just remember that there is nothing blocking the rest of the restaurant from seeing underneath your table, because no one is on the other side…

If you are one of these “sit-next-to” people, let me know. I’m dying to know what is so great about this seating arrangement. Everytime I have ever tried it I have just felt uncomfortable, like there was someone missing on the other side of the table.