Induced Labor Day: A holiday that has become popular with Ob/Gyns, they decide your child’s birthday based around their golf schedule. Gifts on this day should include shots of anesthetic, and possibly forceps — clamps — stat! Golf tees are also a nice gift for the doctor. Celebrated whenever your doctor doesn’t have something better to do.
Impeached President’s Day – Celebrating every American president who was ever impeached. Not really a holiday for most people unless you work at a bank or the post office, this holiday celebrates the failed impeachments of Andrew Johnson and Bill Clinton. (Note: Nixon was not impeached; he resigned prior to his impeachment hearing). Gifts on this day include cigars, stained blue dresses and any Radical Reconstruction memorabilia. Celebrated annually on the 6th Sunday of February.
Gay As Christmas – A holiday for the homosexual and “metrosexual,� this holiday is straight out of a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy episode. First, you decorate the Christmas tree wearing only leather chaps and a vest. Then, because the more the merrier, you decorate another tree for each room of your house. Put on your best ensemble, put a little “product� in your hair, and go out on the town buying all the latest, hottest fashion items at Express for Men for all your elitist, urban friends. Gay As Christmas is at the corner of Kwanzaa and Hannakah.
May 12th, 2005 at 11:09 pm
Ah yes, I remember induced labor day well…it ended with a team of doctors all over me aka ER style. Trying to keep me from bleeding out. yes…good times…good times! I think I have skipped it from that day on.