And I take the baton from Psy Guy, and give you: “List five things that people in your circle of friends or peer group are wild about, but you can’t really understand the fuss over. To use the words of Caesar (from History of the World Part I), ‘Nice. Nice. Not thrilling . . . but nice.’â€?

First off, I would like to say that several of the ones that I really wanted have already been used… So here is what I have come up with:

1. Sports & Sports Bars. I have never been a big fan of drinking, but when I do, I like to be in a place where I don’t have to yell over the din of music or TV and other patrons in order to talk to the people I’m with. This extends to loud restaurants too. BTW, Good food is never served at a sports bar/pub/tavern. And you can forget any sports bar that tries to put all of the smoking section in the bar… just write it off my list permanently. I’m not much into sports, either. Sorry. I’ll play sports, but going to a game or watching it on TV– no thanks. Normally, watching or going to a game, I’m wondering how to get those hours of my life back.

2. Pot Smoking. I have known quite a few pot smokers in my day, and I am proud to say that I have inhaled on more than one occasion (attn. Bill Clinton!), and so I can truly honestly say it was not for me. I know this one is pretty general, but I absolutely can’t stand pot smoke. I’d have to say that of all my friends and relatives who smoke pot, 95% of them are habitual pot smokers. I hardly ever complain and I never try to push my views on other people, simply because I wouldn’t want that done to me, but I am almost always the one who compromises; they come for a visit and I will let them engage in their THC habit on my property, albeit outside. Most of my friends are sympathetic and try to keep the smoke away from me when I am outside with them, but some people smoke some serious skunk weed and then I have to go perform “random acts of carpentry” just to keep away from the smell. There are certain people whose houses I just can’t go to for long periods of time because the smell permeates the place. It’s just a foul smelling, and frankly, illegal habit. The fact that it is illegal tends to breed other problems, including legal liability and some of the low-lifes that typically peddle the stuff. And then there is what it does to people. Amotivational syndrome is very real, I’ve seen it in college and in my friends, family and neighbors. Boy, I’m starting to sound like an old fart, hunh?

3. Terry Shiavo. Honestly, do I really care? Yes, but only about her. It was sad to see someone in that condition. Let it end. Fox News, Congress, and President Bush and everyone else can all drop it now, thank you.

4. Flash Animation Cartoons. Un-hunh. They took static pictures, and made them move around on the screen. Un-hunh. It’s neat. Un-hunh. It’s free. Un-hunh. But they’re normally not all that funny (though there have been some notable exceptions). Un-unh. Some of them are good, but frankly, Flash is to regular animation like Keystone is to Shiner or Guiness. IT’S NOT REALLY ANIMATION! Don’t waste my time with fake animation when I could spend the same amount of time watching something really funny, like Robot Chicken or South Park (which is also barely animation, but at least it’s on TV, so it has “street cred”).

5. Commercials. I watch and listen to commericals only by choice. Ask my wife, she tells people “We don’t get TV…” which is somewhat a fib, since we do have rabbit ears, and could watch TV if we wanted. But I only want to watch shows without commericals, so I watch them after the fact. “Have you seen that commercial?” they ask. The answer is always “No.” The only commercials I watch: I watch the Super Bowl FOR the commercials. And, really, that’s the only reason I watch the Super Bowl, especially since the half-time show is now boring, geriatric and slow all because of the fiasco with Janet Jackson’s pierced titty and the pervs at the FCC and Congress who couldn’t get enough hot Janet Action. Congress, it’s Miss Jackson if you’re nasty!