My whole life, all 31 years of it… everytime I have ever gone out on a date, just the two of us, I have always sat ACROSS from the person I was seeing. Always. But for years I have occasionally noticed these people that sit NEXT to each other, even when they are the only two people at the table.

Back in the day I thought they were just waiting for people to show up, who would sit on the other side. But by now, I’m pretty sure that is not the case.

What I want to know is: Why in the heck would you want to sit NEXT to your date when you could sit ACROSS from them and actually see and socially interact with them?

What bothers me about this scenario is that if I am at a booth, and they are both facing me, I have to see them (since there is no one on the other side of their table). If they get all “schmoopie” and start slurping on each other’s faces, I have nothing to block my view.

Now most of you are saying, “Well, I think you answered your own question…” But there have been many other times when there was no schmoopieness (yes, I’m just making up words now) going on at all. Maybe it’s easier to share a banana split this way or something? Even if you people are secretly trying to get into each other’s pants underneath the table, just remember that there is nothing blocking the rest of the restaurant from seeing underneath your table, because no one is on the other side…

If you are one of these “sit-next-to” people, let me know. I’m dying to know what is so great about this seating arrangement. Everytime I have ever tried it I have just felt uncomfortable, like there was someone missing on the other side of the table.

I don’t, I wasn’t in Houston then (I was still living in Arlington). So someone sent me these pictures…

Wideshot of H-Town:

Downtown:

I-45 North, inside the 610 Loop:

Exit ramp:

Downtown tunnels, underneath the skyscrapers:

US-59 by Greenway Plaza Compaq Center Lakewood Church:

US-59 South (after downtown, but before Kirby)

Rule #7 of Houston Driving: always bring a Jet Ski, just in case…

I-10 Beautifcation: Turn the West Side into the “Wet Side”:

“Your Mama’s So Fat…â€? Tuesday is also known as Votre mère est si Mardi Gras, the festival New Orleans, Louisiana, is famous for. “Gras” is French for fat and “Mardi” is French for Tuesday. “Votre mère est siâ€? is French for “Your mother is so.â€?
This holiday is a joyous one, full of reflections on the incredible obesity of other people’s mothers.
Jokes are exchanged, such as:
Yo mama’s so fat, she gets her toenails painted at Earl Schieb’s.
Yo mama’s so fat, she masturbates reading cookbooks.
Yo mama’s so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Even Morrissey got into the spirit of things with The Smiths song “Some Girls are Bigger than Others.� Whether he was referring to a particular body part or the whole person is unclear.
“Your Mama’s So Fat…� Tuesday always occurs on the day before M*A*S*H Wednesday. The parties, parades, and heckling will continue until Dryer Lent begins at the stroke of midnight.

I’ve been tagged by Epiphany, and so here I wallow, victim of another meme:

The game consists of answering five questions and then tagging three blogger friends to answer five questions. You can also add three
categories.The questions are:

If I could be a doctor… I would spend some f**king time with my patients. I have no patience for doctors who are in and out in 3 minutes flat, hand you a scrip, and then send you to the cashier. That’s why I prerehearse everything I am going to tell them, so I am sure that every little thing that is wrong has been told to them. I don’t let them breathe until I’m done.

If I could be a justice on any one court in the world… I would be on the Supreme Court. Wearing robes all day sounds like fun, and besides, I’m sure that just reading the strange court cases coming in has got to be fascinating. Besides, on a per-person basis, the Supreme Court seems to have more veto power than any other facet of the US Government. And you know me, I’d be voting down all sorts of crap legislation… “What, public universities? enh, bullshit. There’s nothing in the Constitution that guarantees anyone an education! Get rid of them.” “Minimum Wage laws? That’s socialism! Get rid of it!” Oh boy, people would hate me… Oh, and I would take on the “Muy Caliente McDonald’s” decision, and rule that the stupid woman who poured hot coffee on herself needs to have more poured on her. At least a cup for every dollar she got. (I know, it doesn’t work that way, but work with me on this.)

If I could be a political figure… I would be the Prime Minister of Canada. Why? Because it would be easy, and no one would be trying to kill me, and how often would I really have to travel? I could just stay in Ottawa and never leave. Ahh. Simple, and relatively benign.

If I could be car designer – I would get rid of stupid features no one needs and create a really cheap, attractive car that would do the job without unnecessary extras. Something like the old VW Bug, but truly updated, not recreated, like VW’s new Bug (Sorry, but when you change the position of the engine from rear to front, that is NOT an update. That’s a whole new car!). The goal would be to get rust buckets off the road, because people could afford to buy this inexpensive, well put together, solid, no-frills car that got good gas mileage.

If I could be “King of the World!” – I would drown in a boating accident.

The name ‘dies koreanwarcomedium’ (day of M*A*S*Hes) which it bears in the Latin edition of TV Guide probably dates from at least the early-mid 1970’s. On this day all the faithful viewers, according to custom, are exhorted to approach the television at the beginning of M*A*S*H, and be blessed there, in the opening credits, by the priest, Father Mulcahy. A small asterisk is sometimes smeared on the forehead in soot; this indicates that you are a complete M*A*S*Hole (affectionate term for one who enjoys M*A*S*H). M*A*S*H Wednesday coincides with the beginning of Dryer Lent, on the presumption that clothes were often hung up to dry (sans dryer) in the Korean War.

Which M*A*S*H character are you? Take this quiz.

Tulinda says:
Tulinda here
Beatrix says:
Oh hello dear heart
Tulinda says:
and hello to you too.
Beatrix says:
Don’t you just adore our new venue
Tulinda says:
Yes, incredibly so. Have you had repast this evening, dear?
Beatrix says:
Why yes I have. I am now going to help around the clinic. They make us labor so at the rehabilitation center.
Tulinda says:
How dreary . . .
Beatrix says:
Quite. I’ve been assigned the hideous task of vacuuming all the floors, as the head nurse has faked an injury and now lazes about incessantly.
Tulinda says:
Oh, my.
Beatrix says:
It is greivous treatment. Simply greivous.
Tulinda says:
Taffy had offered to take us to tea later this evening, but perhaps you will not be rested from your tasks?
Tulinda says:
wrested?
Beatrix says:
In all actuality I was planning on writing for a bit this evening. I’ve found a woman who takes excellent dictation. She’s marvellously accurate.
Tulinda says:
Well, I’ll leave you to your conversation with Taffy, then. I hope you are doing well . . .
Beatrix says:
As well as can be expected in this dreadful place sister. So we shall meet tomorrow? Is not Quimby accompanying us to the theatre?
Taffy says:
I believe the two of you will be accompanying Quimby to the theatre. Not I, however.
Taffy says:
Popcorn gets in my teeth, you see.
Beatrix says:
Ahh Taffy, ever the serious one.

A once very fancy business hotel declines in Dallas and becomes a retirement community. Sean & Jinny, newlyweds from Houston, arrive at Aunt Donna’s complex to find that it is restricted to senior citizens. Undaunted, Jinny dresses herself and Sean up as a geriatric old married couple. The show’s humour and staying power rest on the strength of the characters. There’s Jinny, with a different ailment each episode, Sean, already crotchedy at twenty-five, and Donna, Jinny’s chain-smoking aunt, who helps her pull off her numerous stunts. Also in the mix is Susie and Lois, cousins of Jinny who help provide the show with numerous relatives, both good and bad.” — Presentation material for Gatewood pilot (courtesy Dianto Entertainment)

After the success and surprise non-renewal of My Blue Houston, Sean was looking for a new avenue, a new approach toward his acting career. After taking a few weeks off, Sean agreed to film a pilot for Dianto Entertainment, Gatewood.
The show was supposed to be lighthearted, something very different from earlier material, (My Blue Houston, As the Frame Shop Turns, Mint Hell) that made him famous. This was Bosom Buddies meets the Baby Boomers, an old age home where the rent was cheap, provided that Jinny & Sean would appear to be old.
Unfortunately, the pilot bombed. Secretly, Sean had thought as much, but Dianto was all for trying. It wasn’t as funny as had been anticipated, and pilot audiences found the humor too droll for the likes of today’s youth. What was okay for a young Tom Hanks in 1979 with women was not okay with Sean MC in 1999 with the elderly.

The Last Day
Tami chewed on pencil tops
and the only one
was Blue-menthol
the mysterious girl.
Kirstin ate a fishcake
and she had the intelligence
of a fishcake*
Dikeland dressed up
like avocadoes
and parted
like the Dead Sea
Craig in low cut
pajamas…
Blue-menthol looked
great in her
off the shoulder top!

Craig Beiser / Sean MC
*IQ=10

Sean MC
May 8, 1990
Stubblefield-6

“Caesar…Seize her!”

The so-called Tragedy of Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare has long been regarded as a masterpiece and a classic by the theatre community in general. However, by strict definition, “tragedy” is a misnomer. Tragedy is defined by theatrical convention as having a character that although great, has hidden, tragic flaw. This character must be neither totally good nor totally bad, for they would not be admirable to the audience. In the end, the audience must feel that the consequences exceed the crime. While Julius Caesar had most of these qualities, it ultimately lacked in the selection of the tragic hero: Caesar does not fall into the classification of a tragic hero. Although Caesar certainly has many a good quality; his leadership ability, his military instincts, and his popularity among Romans, Caesar is not quite as highly regarded as Oedipus was, nor as astute in the mental aspect. In the end, Brutus appears to be far more of a tragic hero than the more obvious choice of Caesar, because he was basically a decent, better-than-the-common-mortal type, the only con being a bad judgment to subtract from his many pros.
Brutus from the start appears to exist as a respected, favorable senator, and it is with that in mind that Cassius
chooses to pray upon him. “I know that virtue to be in you, Brutus, As well as I do know your outward favor,” spoke Cassius (Act I Scene 2 p.637). Cassius’ long dialogue with Brutus reminds one of the great swaths of written material spoken by Iago in Othello. And like Othello, Cassius’ dialogue becomes as convincing to Brutus as Iago’s dialogue was to others.
“Beware the ides of March” (Act I Scene 2 p. 634), was ultimately said to Brutus, for it was he who heard it first, and he who had to repeat it to the hard of hearing Caesar. Unfortunately, this warning is taken by no one, and even Cassius says nothing of the effects that the ides of March will have upon the Roman State. However, it serves as foreshadowing twice: once for the death of Caesar, and once again for the events leading up from the assassination of Caesar and Brutus’ demise.
Lastly, like all tragic heros, Brutus had hid hidden tragic flaw: simple misjudgement. Had he known Cassius’ full intentions, or had he foreseen Mark Antony’s plea to the Roman people to avenge this villianous act, Brutus might have yet lived. But due to his lack of insight, his life ended with great potential left unused.
In conclusion, whereas Caesar lacked the greatness versus cruel hand of fate needed to make him a practical and acceptable tragic hero, Brutus had the qualifications and in fact was nearly a tragic hero in the Sophoclean sense;
Brutus mirrors Oedipus’s charms and quirks, yet he dies out of his own will versus the fate of the gods, as in the Greek play.