Today’s “Unfortunate Names,” brought to you by Sugarloaf, and Golden Mushroom Florist.

Sugarloaf. This is the name of the company that sells/distributes those mechanical arm in glass case things, and if you are lucky you can grab the stuffed animal and drag it to the chute.

I had to look this up to see if it is a real word. And yes, it is:

sugar loaf n.
1. A large conical loaf of pure concentrated sugar.
2. Something, such as a mountain, that resembles a loaf of sugar in shape.

But prior to that, there were only two things I knew of that came in a “loaf,” and only one of them was bread…
So you can see why the term Sugarloaf might be a little on the disgusting side, for sickos like me anyway. And what do cheap toys and a coin-operated claw hand have to do with a pile of sugar?

Then there is Golden Mushroom Florist. Can someone please tell me;
a) what does a golden mushroom have to do with flowers?
b) why would a mushroom be golden?

I thought about this one for quite a while until I realized that floristry must Mario & Luigi’s new line of work! (Plumbing is apparently passe). This is because the only place I have ever seen a golden mushroom is in Super Mario Bros., when you collected 100 coins, you got a 1-UP. So it all makes sense now.

Not that I would ever purchase flowers from a place called “Golden Mushroom.” I might buy soup there, though, or eat the buffet.

Lastly, we have “The Bareback Bar.” There is a severe problem with this place, in that “Bareback” has quite a different meaning to different people. And this club is NOT a gay bar, but rather it is a country/western honkytonk. So some uninformed individuals wearing hot pants and gold lame may be in for a severe shock after entering this establishment.