George Michael In The Park (to the tune of Saturday in the Park by Chicago)

George Michael in the park
I think he was unzipping my fly
George Michael in the park
I think he was unzipping my fly
People crusing for penis poking
A mouth full of man cream
Humming some old Wham! songs
[sung with mouth full] take me to the Edge of Heaven
Can he suck it (yes, he can)
And I’ll be coming such a long time
Fellatio

George Michael in the park
sucking off this unemployed guy
George Michael in the park
It’s dripping down the length of his thigh
Careless whispers, Father Figure
A monkey plays the guitar
Sing it for us all
Will you do the jitterbug
Can wake him (yes, I can)
Before you go-go such a long time
for some ass play

Not everybody does it, but everybody may
A Greek man still can have sex in the park today
Andrew Ridgley, all is not lost
All is not lost

George Michael in the park
I know he was unzipping my fly
George Michael in the park
my penis poked him right in the eye
George is reaching, George is touching
A real masterbation
Waiting for us all
If we want it, really want it
Can you dig it (yes, I can)
Police ‘been watching such a long time
to take him away

Here is the link to the Aeros Hockey Ticket information.

Because Facebook won’t let you zoom in on these photos, I have decided to post the full-res scans here.

Klein Oak Class of 1992
Strack Intermediate Class of 1988

The following ten links point to answering machine messages left by someone on my answering machine at one time.

Try to guess who left message from the list below.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Clues:
All messages were left between 1990-1996.
No one person left more than one of the above messages.
All messages were left by someone who has attended at least one Festivus.

Possible candidates:
Laura Veale
Henry Britt
Jinny Patterson McCormick
Becky Vincent Smith
Lara Abrahms Gwinn
Sean Loyless
Alicia Vilbaum Fiedler
Jessica Cabiness Brady
Bethany Hedges Moore
Bryan Pope
Dean McCormick
Staci Heien
Tami Nelson
Raymond Ng
Scott Bishop
David Hobizal
Travis Breaux
Scott McCormick
Leslie Meredith Eames
Carolyn Abbruscato Smith
Meredith Braden Watmough
Sean McCormick
Rick Nelson
Andrew Hannan
Kourt DeHaas
Brian Smith

If you are unable to attend Festivus in person, we are streaming a live web feed from this year’s party– from both McCormick Manor and from San Antonio!

McCormick Manor web feed:
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/red-cedar-place—-festivus-2008
San Antonio web feed:
http://www.dailyhaggis.com/festivus

If you want to join in on the party, you can also join the Skype conference– just add “VirtualFestivus” as a Skype contact and be ready at 8:00pm on the 19th!

Additionally, if you have a webcam, add “GrievanceCam” as a Skype contact and you can air your grievances with the rest of us!

And just remember– for every grievance aired over webcam, a donation will be made to “The Human Fund.”

Thanks, and hope to see you there, one way or another!

I remember now why I hated Concrete Blonde. Jinny is watching a video on youtube, and that woman’s voice is like fingernails on a blackboard. Or a cat in heat. Or a cat in heat scratching its fingernails on a blackboard.

Today we have more audio clips from my answering machine.

First, we have one of the few outgoing messages that I have. Unfortunately, these seemed to be erased every time I created a new one, so I have very, very few of them. But this one is a duet of sorts, with me sounding vaguely Ren Hoek-ish at times, and Travis assisting.

Then we have Kirstin, frustrated with me in general and worried about the sanctity of my sister.

Lastly, we have Corey, Little Caesar’s, and his waterbed.

Hey kids, remember when there was no Internet? Cell phones were rare and expensive? Gas was $1.00?
Of course not, you kids were in utero back then. Hell, some of you weren’t even born when that Nirvana album came out. (September 21, 1993).

For those of you that remember these times, and knew me back in those days, the following audio links should prove to be interesting. Or, at the very least, embarrassing.

First off, we have here a classic from Alicia “Jackie” Vilbaum, most likely from ‘93. I got this a lot from Alicia.

Next we have Jinny in Spring of 1992. It would be another seven years before we would even start dating. But it doesn’t sound like it from this clip, does it? My favorite part is that if you listen closely, you can hear the Grease soundtrack playing in the background.

Lastly we have Travis pretending to be people looking for crack. 1992 for sure.

There are plenty of messages that are even more amusing– a complete recording of “Sean & Kirstin” performed for my answering machine by Scottie Garrison, Jinny pretending that she’s being abducted from the Randall’s parking lot, Travis proclaiming his divinity, Tami performing executive secretary duties by scheduling me reservations for a date I’m going on with someone else, and even Rick Nelson calling to borrow shoplift acquire CDs.

I will put a few up here and there as I have time.

I can only guess that this mural is from early summer of 1990. It involves Staci as a mouse, Sean as a crow, Kirstin as an evil beast, and contains a guest appearance from Andrea, who seems to be much more interested in the Monkees that anything else. Go figure.

This, so far as I am aware, is the last of the big murals. There is one more, though– a mural drawn on fan-fold computer paper. As soon as I work out the details of scanning that one, I’ll put it up here.

I’m not really sure what to say– another found mural. So far as I know, this one is the first one. Because it is in such disrepair, I have reproduced the credits below.

The “New” Craig and Sean Mural!

With:

Sean MC as The Captain, and Gene Shalit, too
Craig as The Mind Tripper Robert Smith
Andrea as The Bitch with the Dick in her Side Mouth
Psycho-Bunny as Lassie
Alvin The Chipmunk as Matt E.
Tiffany as The Vampire Go-Go Dancer
-and-
Kourt as Dumbo, the Boy Who Could Fly
-not to mention-
Vicar (so we won’t)